Lloyd Banks: "If You So Gangsta"

There are few more quintessential examples of the medium of punchline rap than the work of Lloyd Banks.  It's really him vs. Cassidy vs. Fablous for the title of most punchline-y of punchline rappers in the 20 years or so, although with Cassidy's more recent work (like B.A.R.S.) being uncharacteristic of his traditional flow and Funeral Fab having always strayed from being a pure punchline-r, Banks may have yet taken the crown.

As a punchline rapper, Banks excels in the very aspects of rap that differentiate it from "hip-hop" for people who use the words "rap" and "hip-hop" to mean "music that white people can also listen to" and "music that white people cannot also listen to," respectively:..wait.  Sorry, got a little carried away there.  Let's take a step back.  The tenets of punchline are as follows:

1) Lines must exist primarily in couplets.  Though deviation from this form is acceptable, the punchline rapper uses couplets in the same way Alexander Pope did: to satirize and to comment on in a manner which, by the expediency of its form, juxtaposes whimsy with an epigrammatic profundity.

Coincidentally, An Essay on Man was originally titled "Beamer, Benz, or Bentley."

2) A penchant for puns and quotables over story-telling and big picture statements is a must.

3) Multi-syllabic end rhymes.  There is no way to be a punchline rapper without this.

4) Always sound better on guest spots and mixtapes than on your own album.  This necessity for being a punchline rapper is also the ultimate downfall for all punchline rappers, since the inability to form a coherent album dooms them to remixes of other people's songs.

Lloyd Banks has had as much success as any punchline rapper could reasonably expect, but, even with his memorable flow, he'll likely always be relegated to C-list status due to his inability to grow beyond his form.  Which is okay because at least he's not Tony Yayo.

Oh shit, really?!  Where?!

"Now I got money bags as big as a pumpkin get / and pistol as long as the hand Shaq dunkin' with."


Explanation: I know the first part has nothing to do with the Shaq part, I just thought this was a perfect example of Banks' punchline flow.  Anyway, Banks has a lot of money and his gun is large.  Punchline rap is pretty self-explanatory.

Awkwardness of Line: None at all.  This is pretty much exactly how Lloyd Banks always sounds.  5 of 5.

Cleverness of Line: This is actually kind of hard one to answer.  Hip-hop traditionalists (you know, people who think KRS-One the greatest MC of all-time) tend to discount punchline rap as empty, artless, and decidedly NOT clever.  However, we're in the 21st century and I think we all know better.  Great rap (or hip-hop or whatever) mixes punchlines with politics, clever wordplay with insightful story-telling.  Lloyd Banks doesn't really do that, but the rhymes here are decently clever.  3 of 5.

Appropriatenss of Line: As discussed previously, Shaq's hands (which seem to be of particular interest for the hip-hop community) are around 11 inches long.  An 11-inch pistol is pretty big, but it's certainly not unheard of.  I'd say there's a decent chance that Lloyd Banks does, in fave, have such a pistol.  5 of 5.

Shaqness of Line: When it comes to big hands, Shaq is near the very top in NBA history.  Insanely specific measurements like that haven't been kept forever, so I can't be sure, but it seems like the most prominent NBA players who had significantly larger hands than Shaq (as in one inch larger or more) are Julius Erving and...uh...Wayne Embry?  Anyway, good work by Banks here.  4 of 5.

Basketball or weird ballet? 

FINAL SHAQ SCORE: 17 OF 20