Nas: "It Ain't Hard to Tell"

Depending on who you listen to, Nas' debut album Illmatic is either the number one or number two rap album of all-time, swapping spots on different lists with Public Enemy's It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back.  To me, listening to it makes me feel a lot like I felt while watching Orson Welles' Citizen Kane; at no point during the process did I say to myself "This is the epitome of what this particular artform should be," but both Welles' film and Nas' album are essentially flawless ,and, until something better comes along, I can't rank anything higher in their respective categories.

Anyway, I'm not here to talk about Nas, whose up-and-down career has been dissected by anyone and everyone with a voice and a love for hip-hop.  Suffice to say, Illmatic is the best rap album ever made, several of his later albums were very good and several were extremely boring, and he's doing important work now with his untitled album (which I consider to be his second-best) and songs like "Nasty."  Every once in a while you'll hear someone gush over a new Nas song and say things like "the King of New York is back!", but it's never the song you liked the most off that album.  I think everyone wants something different from Nas.  Illmatic suceeds as a hip-hop record on so many different levels that there's no way for Nas to please everyone who liked it at the same time without making the same record again.  To put myself out there, I worship at the altar of the great lyricists, idolizing Big Daddy Kane, Rakim, Big L, GZA, Big Pun, Eminem, late-Canibus, early Jay-Z, and the like.  Nas is on that list too (along with your favorite lyricist, who I shamefully forgot to include), and "It Ain't Hard to Tell" is a good example of why.

So, let's look at the line itself:

"I kick a skill like Shaquille holds a pill."

What?

Explanation: Nas compares his effortless ability to murder flows to Shaq's effortless handling of a basketball ("pill").  With an 11-inch hand...span?...Shaq holds a basketball like you hold a golf ball.  It's supposedly the major reason he can't shoot free throws (aside from his total indifference to improving his FT percentage, that is).

And now, let's rank Nas' line using totally arbitrary criteria!

Awkwardness of Reference: In a song that also shouts-out Medusa and the Iron Sheik, Nas' self-comparison to Shaq seems almost too normal.  4 out of 5 (in non-awkwardness...I guess it's a reverse scale?)

Cleverness of Refence: Illmatic is nothing if not extraordinarily clever.  This line, though, isn't particularly indicative of that, although Nas gets props for internally rhyming Shaq's real first name.  3 out of 5.

Appropriateness of Reference: As I already pointed out, Nas is talking about how effortlessly Shaq holds a basketball.  Makes total sense.  5 out of 5.

Shaqness of Reference: Yes, Shaq is well known for his size.  But this line could have easily been spoken about any number of over-sized NBA centers.  In order to score high points in Shaqness, a reference must be specifically applicable to Shaq and Shaq alone.  2 out of 5.

FINAL SHAQ SCORE:  14 OUT OF 20